How to Win Friends and Influence People
At the beginning I was very sceptical about this book because of its name. But the introduction changed my impression totally. I did not know that this book was so “old” and that dozens of successful people have all read it. I thought of this book as the ten commandments.
- Genuinely interested in other people
- Let the other person feel like the idea is his or hers
- Talk about your own mistakes, before criticizing their mistakes
- Dramatize your ideas
- Talk in terms of the other persons interest
- Get the other person to say yes immediately
- Give honest and sincere appreciation
- Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to
- Power of identity
- Use their name
Out of these ten points most of them were already familiar to me except a few. From the ten commandments three were totally new to me from which I could learn from: 2, 3 and 5. Despite the three learning points, I found the quote from the first point to be the best and surprisingly interesting that “you can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” This really got me wanting to be genuinely interested in other people and focusing on reading the rest of the book as accurately as possible.
Starting from the second “rule”; Let the other person feel like the idea is his or hers. This is definitely something I can and will take into practice in the future, especially when trying to come up with a new idea with a partner or bigger group/team. When I think of it, it’s logical, that giving credit to the other person will definitely increase the value of yourself as an individual. At the same time I think your partner will start respecting you more quickly than normally. This seems fascinating and like something I would want to try out as soon as possible.
Talking about my own mistakes, yes this is something I do but not in the order the book recommends it should be done. So this taught me to open up to others and share them something about you so that they will open up themselves. Sharing my own thoughts so that the one listening to you understands that you understand them, with a common experience, mistake or dilemma for example.
Talk in terms of the other persons interest. So I found this interesting that when proposing something it would be good to always think of what’s in it for them to assure there interest in the subject or matter. I learned that giving an attention grabber is a common way for example “all the famous people have read this book”. This gives the other persons the thought that maybe he should also. So I think it is a good way to frame something if you want to have influence over other people.
Other than that, this was the best Book I have read so far and I could imagine reading it again. I find it very important to be good at making friends and influencing other people in business life and in life in general as well. I think these points are one of the most important skills to know in life.