I wanted to practice my English and write this essay in English for a change. As many of you know this year has been full of changes and hard lessons for all of us. My biggest challenge has been productivity and the lack of knowledge how to lead myself towards my goals effectively. Next year I want to increase myself motivation and leading skills. I want to become better time manager and also better person for myself. We held a feed pack training session with Apaja and for me that session was really important.

I have struggled to work towards my goals at Proakatemia and working remotely has made it even harder. I think I´m pretty good at making plans and lists to my calendar but I have no idea how to achieve them. That has also shown at projects in Apaja. My teammates felt like they do believe in me but can see that I´m not very good at leading myself. It was really important to me to hear that they see the potential in me and want me to be more driven in Apaja.

A good leader knows how to lead himself.

I have been listening to book called Korkeintaan vähän väsynyt in English something like Just a little bit tired. I wanted to listen this book just for myself and not pressure myself to write an essay about it. But I do want to write something that I learned from the book. Be what you dream to be. The sentence was not written like that but I understood it that way. This thought is something I want to carry with me to next year I want to be able to see the good in myself and believe that I can grow. Sometimes it is hard for me to stay positive or motivated but I know I can be both if I trust what I´m doing. Doubting myself will make my mind to stay where it is right now and there is not space for growth.

Being a project manager or business leader at Proakatemia is part of the study plan in our school. I have yet been neither. I think part of the reason why I haven´t have the straight to be a leader is that I´m scared to fail. Last week our training session was about leading and we got to the conclusion that good leader needs to know how to lead himself first. I have been thinking about this and afterwards I can see that last year when I was our team´s HR I wasn´t able to be a good leader for our team. I couldn´t even lead myself and manage my own time. Now that I know more about leadership I want to be a leader at some point. I also understand that you don´t have to be 100% ready to be a good leader you can grow and learn new things by doing.

The more I read about being productive the more I can see that I´m stressing about it. I know it is important and I really need to improve it BUT I also feel like we are living in a pretty hectic world. For better balance in life it is good to sometimes do things without any productivity for example yoga or other mindfulness exercises.

It is important to feel yourself valuable only that way you can be willing to grow and develop yourself. When you really like yourself, you want to be near to your values and do things that you really want to. (Tracy, 2019). This thought is something that Brian said at his seminar and I think it is something that I have learned this year. This year I have been more willing towards the fact that I am valuable and it matters what I do with my time.

Your time is your life.

Todays training session we talked about self-esteem and our own stories. By stories I mean the ones people usually tell about themselves when they have been asked ´´Who are you?´ or ´´What are you going to do with your life?´ I have noticed that my story is really automatic and it has a lot of things that I assume about myself and the listener. We got to the conclusion that by changing your own story and the words you tell to yourself effects your life. By saying positive thoughts to yourself it is easier to see the good in life. And vice verse if you are aimed to tell all the terrible memories in your story it is harder to see positive things in your future. Mind is such a powerful thing.

I tried to tell myself that I can and I´m productive for a week every day. My days actually started going to the better direction and I got more things done per day. I scheduled my days to be more effective and I gave a thought for my health too. I have noticed that I´m more productive at mornings and in the middle of the day so I started to do my work when I´m energized. Off course part of the reason why I´m getting more things done per day is that I also go to sleep earlier and eat regularly. I have also found it helpful to use a timekeeper when I start working. If I take my phone and go to scroll Instagram the timekeeper will stop and so does my work. For me this is a good way to concentrate on one thing at a time.

Time-management

Time is your most precious research (Tracy, 2019). When you look at your calendar you can see how you actually spend your days and time. At the seminar that I listen was a good tip how to practice self-esteem. Identify yourself that you are efficient and enough.

1. Say to yourself what you want to be
2. Image yourself as an excellent person you want to be
3. Act the part and assume the role

The most important thing for me was that I realized that I´m already going to the right direction. Before listening the seminar I was thinking that it is good that I have already started to speak to myself more positively. And then Brian said that tell yourself that you are effective and you will become one I was like wow I really learned that one. Off course only saying things won´t make you effective you should also actually do something to get the right balance.

Resources:

Kolu, E. 2020. Korkeintaan vähän väsynyt – Eli kuinka olla tarpeeksi maailmassa, jossa mikään ei riitä. Äänikirja Storytel kirjapalvelussa. Gummerus.

Tracy, B. 2019. Doubling Your productivity – Live Seminar: Hot to manage Your Time and Organize Your Life. Äänikirja Storytel kirjapalvelussa. Author´s Republic.