How to find success from human relations
How to find success from human relations.
Based on: How to Win Friends and Influence People – Dale Carnegie
It is very common to think that in business only knowledge, know-how and endeavor determines your success. But does it matter if people like you or not in business? Is it truly that only your intellectual properties can give you an advantage in business?
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie is a self-help book to answer these questions. It was published originally in 1938 and has gone some changes along the way, but the core of the book is still the same.
For me, personally, this was one those books that hooked me up right in the beginning. Influencing people requires talent and effort and in business it is not always enough to be right, but to understand how to other people act and find their needs and fitting your ideas into the situation. I believe that applying what I have learned from this book, will make my days a lot easier and in the end maybe even more lucrative. I dare you to do the same, and see that it is not as easy as it seems.
I find three fundamental techniques in this book about how to handle people:
- Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.
People are easily offended when criticized and even if wrong, we are inclined to become defensive and we justify our actions to maintain our pride.
- Give honest and sincere appreciation.
When you show your interest in persons doing you can utilize one the most powerful tools in handling people: Appreciation. People don’t perform unless they want to and by sincere appreciation you can harness their genuine inspiration.
- Arouse in the other person an eager want.
The first step to get other people to do what we want is to start to see things from their perspective and finding what is their point of view. When we know what they want they are more eager to work with us.
Other fundamental topics includes discussion and guiding on how to make people like you, how to win people to your way of thinking and how to be a leader. I will not go further discussing these topics.
At some point reading this book I started to wonder, is it truly about smiling at people, listening, appreciating or is it somehow finding the way to manipulate them into your way of doing. Do these methods genuinely make people like me or is this only a strategy to go further? I find it hard to answer if it is this way because when people do things they like with people they like, they will automatically find it more pleasant than criticism and always finding the negatives of a failure for example.
I have only had a chance to introduce this books idea to myself but I have already realized how much our community would benefit of some of the techniques introduced by Dale Carnegie. From team building perspective, it might help us all find a mutual understanding faster. From business perspective, I see that there is a lot of potential especially for us who might have not as much technological know-how for example, but the desire to create something awesome.
These techniques can prove the common understanding wrong; If you are good with people, you don’t necessarily need all the intellectual property, after all business is always peoples business.