How to become a good friend/leader
A big part of business is dealing with people, and it is probably the biggest problem you face. That also applies to engineer or even housewife, because interpersonal skill determines if you can be a manager or a normal worker, if you can be an important person of a family or just someone do the laundry.
There are investigations revealed that even in such super technical industries as engineers or scientists, only around 15 percent achieved finical success due to their technical knowledge, and about 85 percent is due to to skill in human engineering-to personality and the ability to lead people. I had a chance to meet one of the directors of China’s Infrastructure Development projects in Africa. I asked him how did you achieve a career like this. He said, there is only 20 percent of my work is based on my technical skills, and the rest is how I deal with people, and solve problems that beyond technologies. I was shocked by his answer, and said I thought only people have outstanding knowledge in their technical backgrounds can become a director of big projects or companies. “No”, he said, “I have to say there are better engineers in the company but they are working for me.”
When it comes to handing people, there are three main ways as Dale Carnegie mentioned in the book. Firstly, We human being does not like to admit fault most of times. When people are criticized or humiliated, they rarely respond well and will often become defensive and resent their critic. Further studies have shown that criticizing people doesn’t yield anything positive. Secondly, give honest, sincere appreciation. Who doesn’t like to be recognized in a positive way? However, it is important to be honest, sincere appreciation when appropriate. And thirdly, Arouse in the other person an eager want. In order to get something from another person, we must forget about our own perspective and begin to understand things from thoughts of others. When we can start to understand others, we can find a mutual goal for both parties and we can mutually achieve our objectives.
It is important to avoid arguments with anyone. impossible to win an argument. If we lose the argument, we lose; if we win the argument, we have made the other person feel inferior, hurt his pride, and made him resent us. In other words, we still lose. “You are wrong” is a super strong sentence and it hurts others’ feeling. Most people have an innate desire to achieve. When nothing else works in winning people to your way of thinking, throw down a challenge.
For all the entrepreneurs out there, we have to learn how to be a good leader. That means we need to change people without Giving offense or arousing resentment. No one likes to take orders, so asking question helps others understanding the task and build confidence
I think after practice all the principles in the book, we can behave naturally to win friends and win people.