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Happy with not being happy all the time

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The subtle art of not giving a f*ck
Mark Manson
Esseen arvioitu lukuaika on 4 minuuttia.

This essay will contain a lot of swearing deal with it. 🙂

I read the book the subtle art of not giving a fuck because my dear friend recommended it to me a while ago. I give too much fucks. About what other people think and about success. How it shows I dress well on average I look good I try to look good on social media and all this basic shit most of us do I´m no exception. In sense of success, I try too hard. I don´t trust the process and really don´t have the ability to just float and wait till things happen. No that´s not me. The problem is not the trying that is good but the stress I make for myself about it. I think in my head I should do this and this and this and not this. I should buy assets not liabilities etc. It’s too self-critical fuck that. I´ve been learning my way out of it for a year but it´s pretty hard because it is built pretty deep in my system. These things are just a few things of the way many unnecessary things I give way too much fucks about.

Choosing the right things to give a fuck about

Give a fuck about things you really care about don´t buy that latest phone to show everyone how cool or rich you are but for you think what will give yourself value and happiness. Care about the things that you really love and learn to give up things that take more than they give. This is a hard skill to learn because we like to get used to things and we are not always able to see the real value it gives us.

Learn to notice a situation that you give too much fucks in.

There was an example in this book about a woman that lost their nerves over 30c they didn´t get back in a shopping mall. I often find myself giving way too much fucks about a thing that is really not that important. For example, in traffic, I for some reason have really short temper 🙂 And I should not give that many fucks there. Some driver drives like an asshole let them be. Fuck them. The main thing in this is I have to catch myself when doing it and think is this really worth the energy I´m putting into it.

Fixing the self-talk

You have to learn to forgive yourself and not give a fuck about every single mistake you make. If you do it you will beat yourself way too much and will feel like shit every day. The way you give yourself feedback matters a lot. Man, that interview felt like I didn´t do that well. What I felt didn´t go that well? Oh yes, I was being way too stressed out and I should be more chilled next time I go to an interview. How could I improve it? Maybe I should my friend to interview and prepare a structure for me. Ok, let´s try this way to tackle the problem I had. When doing feedback for yourself remember to congratulate yourself also! Ok, I was stressing too much but I was doing really good work when introducing myself that went really well. Good work me! Talk to yourself like to your friends! You are not beating up your friends for every mistake they do so why should you do it to yourself then either?

This way you will improve your mental health drastically and you will feel a lot better after a while. Also what it does makes your self-confidence go up. But it is hard in this it is important to notice when you start self-criticizing too much and be able to stop it. In this book, we go over a term called Feedback loop from hell. What it means when you have a bad day you start to feel bad about it because of the twisted thinking we nowadays have about life. Life should be perfect and in the perfect life, there are no bad days. BULLSHIT. This is a stupid perception we get from social media and television and we are unrealistically trying to match it. Don´t let this go into your head. Don´t give a single fuck. The most important thing in this is that you have to learn to be ok with the fact that you will not feel good every day. This requires mercy from you for yourself and what it will do it´ll make you feel better about yourself and will make your bad day slightly better and shorter.

I tend to sometimes feel jealous of certain cool people. If I see some really good-looking dude somewhere I might think: Maan I want to look that good although I already put a lot of thought into my looks. In this I created a line for myself: He looks good and so do I. I just look good in a different way. In my way. This way I have been able to avoid most of these thoughts lately.

The reality of this is that you cannot just read a book and boom you don´t give a shit. In fact, you have already started the process when you have read a book like this. The main thing is to take action and be self-aware in situations when you know you might be sensible for caring too much about something you should not put that much energy into and catch yourself from doing it and stop it.

So yes. These were my realizations from the book The subtle art of not giving a fuck. Thank you for reading.

  • Luiza de Oliveira Vago

    I can’t stop laughing at the amount of swearing this text has hahaha. I believe this is the kind of book you need and I have to say your written structure looks sooooo much better!!! Congrats!!!!

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