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The library of essays of Proakatemia

Feedback to essay of the month (February)



Kirjoittanut: Doneé Barendze - tiimistä SYNTRE.

Esseen tyyppi: Blogiessee / 1 esseepistettä.
Esseen arvioitu lukuaika on 2 minuuttia.

Feedback essay:

 

I drew inspiration to write this feedback essay on our team mate’s essay that got nominated as the essay of the month for February 2023. I was too curious to not read it and therefore decided to share my own thoughts on it. 

 

The essay of the month in February went to the lovely Seungyeon Shin (whose name I recently discovered means something along the lines of getting more beautiful as the time passes and you can for sure see this in everything Soonie puts her mind to, including her essays). She wrote the essay in reflection to Brene’ Brown’s book: Braving the Wilderness- The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone. I will write this essay using the motorola tool as a guideline.

 

  1. What went well in Soonie’s essay:

If you know Soonie as a person, you would know that she is the most authentic person you will ever meet, and so is her writing. I found this essay particularly inspiring due to this authentic way that it was written in. Vulnerable, straightforward and inspirational. It is eye opening and vulnerable, making the reader feel that they can relate to the writer on a personal level. It is written based on experience, making it interesting to read, it is hard to stop once you start and the writing style is very intriguing.

 

     2. What could be improve:

The general structure of the essay might be a bit misleading, it is hard to follow and there could be more attention to where words are put in bold and spell check could also help with the general structure of writing. 

 

     3. What I learned:

It is okay to be vulnerable during times of uncertainty and having strong boundaries lead to more positive experiences both in corporate and personal life. I learned that you never know what someone is going through and therefore it is always important to treat others with kindness. 

     4. What I will take into the future:

The EntreCom (Entrepreneurial Competencies) is something I want to explore more and learn more about in the future and I will take what has been explained in this essay surrounding that to my future studies.

 

Overall I would give Soonie a 10/10. It took a lot of courage to be this vulnerable on paper and I couldn´t be more proud. <3

Comments
  • Seungyeon Shin

    This is so sweet! Thanks for this feedback essay doneé<3 And our picture!

    22.3.2023
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