Blogiessee: Relationship Called a Team
This blog post will be published on Academic Adventures blog.
Relationship Called a Team
When you are in a healthy and loving relationship, you want to do your everything to make the other person happy, to encourage and support them in their life. You get to know one another in their best and worst days. The right person does the same to you; challenges and pushes you forward in good way. Staying put is not an option for you two. Moving forward together is a way of keeping the spark alive and you both value the fact that it enables constant learning.
You grow and change as persons. Especially the younger you are the more likely you are also still finding yourself. You embrace the change and learn from each other. Despite the roller coaster called life, when the both of you believe in your relationship, you work for it and stay together. Why wouldn’t this all apply to your team also?
Dream Relationship = Dream Team
I listed things that are often used to describe healthy and strong relationships and which I find relevant to team work as well. Think about your past or present relationships when reading the list: can you find things that have worked out and things that could have been improved? Do you notice resemblances to teams you have worked with?
Trust and honesty
Often men are considered not to show much feelings. However, in a good relationship they are willing to let their guard down and show the softer side of them. In a loving relationship you share both your strengths and your weaknesses. Teamwork begins by building trust the same way. It requires you to be vulnerable; to truly open up about yourself, your thoughts and your experiences. It also means that you listen to other people, learn to understand them and accept them as who they are. It is easy to share your strengths with your team but if you don’t also share your weaknesses, you are not fully committed.
The only way to get to know the other person is to communicate. To be present in the moment and to listen what the other person has to say. What it takes is dialogue and clearly communicating your expectations and feelings. If you have been in a relationship you probably know many situations where you expected your partner to do something and it didn’t happen. And that the reason wasn’t that they didn’t want to do it but because it was unclear to them what you wanted them to do. So how else would your team know how to help you or the team go forward if you don’t talk about it clearly? Bad communication leads to frustration and misunderstandings.
Part of communication is a shared vision, an understanding why you are together and where are you headed. When you share the same vision of where you are going in your relationship, you aim for the same things and work together to achieve the steps on the way. This also requires that you are able to compromise and willing to see things from the other person’s perspective. It is also vital to discuss about the vision in a team. If it is unclear or poorly communicated, you might be heading to opposite directions. You could all be working hard but for different goals which means it does not actually get your team forward.
When you are in love with someone, you are willing to make sacrifices to make the other person happy. You learn to put “we” before “me”. In bad relationships the other person thinks him or herself as better than the other person. A relationship is not a competition and neither should a team be. In a team unselfishness can be seen for example when scheduling something – everyone should be willing to give and make time from their own calendar for the team. A team should lift each other up, not to compete on who makes the most money or gets the biggest applaud.
I Becomes We
In a strong and supporting team you grow and encourage each other in the process. The growth of one person grows the team as well. All learning of individuals benefits the team. The team grows together through shared experiences that shake them and excite them. Problems are inevitable but they are faced together. The team makes everything they can to conquer the obstacles instead of giving up and going separate ways.
I believe that if you understand the pillars of a good relationship, you are a great and valuable team player. My advice on how the get started: always give more than you take. Relationships need time and nothing happens overnight. There are ups and downs in every relationship but what matters the most is how you carry them through together.
“You add value to people when you value them.” – John Maxwell