A GLANCE INTO MY MIND THROUGH THE BOOK
MINDSET MAKEOVER: CHANGE YOURSELF- SABOTAGING THOUGHTS, TAME YOUR FEARS, AND LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES- FOCUS ON THE REAL VALUES OF LIFE
In my country of over 90 million people, it seems that people are caught up in the reels of ‘rice and money’. For example, adults get caught into the daily works immediately from when they can graduate from universities to be able to pay bills, feed their old parents and family or by their achievements, to brighten the honor of family in the eyes of other people. Similarly, children are forced to study whole day at schools and at nights or in the weekends they must take extra classes. There are some moments in life, some young people dream to escape from these crazy stuffs and wish to live the life which they plan for themselves. That is the reason why reading a book is a habit which seems to be luxurious and hard to achieve for most people there.
There, reading books is not something that is motivated by the teachers or parents. Vietnamese people must learn to have the interest in reading books by themselves while nobody in family or school advises about the benefits of it. That was the reason why reading the book to me has been always a challenge. As most people there, I know well about the book reading benefits, but somehow it is hard to prioritize my time for them.
When I came to Finland, the life has changed my habit. I tried to put a goal for myself to achieve this habit of reading. Taking some books with me from Vietnam was an idea to fill in my empty schedule in Finland and this book came to me as a destiny and a truth of life to change so much my mindsets. Truly, I was caught deeply into its narrative way and its interesting scientific explanations which made me so fascinated that I could finish reading it only within 2 days. In some moments, I could see myself in there as the reflection mirror of the way I have looked at the life and recognized how I had reacted to it in very wrong behaviors.
The main message of the book is to teach the people how to break the old trail path of thinking. By analyzing scientifically how the brains works and react to natures of things, the book motivates people to redefine their thoughts, proposes more appropriate behaviors to live better, achieve more happiness and mindfulness for lives. However, if I were not open minded enough, I could not understand this book. I needed the second time to understand the book. After the first time of reading some pages of it, I planned to put it into the corner, complaining of how stupid I was to buy it and forgetting about it until the coach asked me to find a book to read and reflect on it. Maybe because of the translation skill of the publisher, the beginning of book seems to be translated in a very forced way and together with having new scientific facts and theories makes it hard to understand and attract the interest of readers. However, since I paid more attention to it in the second time, I discovered the book could help me look back into myself and change sharply some of my believes on everything that has happened to my life, especially in the changing period of career pathway when I must change myself to be a better and more suitable version to this business environment.
WE ARE NOT THE MOST IMPORTANT ONES IN THIS UNIVERSE
In the world of self-thoughts, it is easier to fall into the trap of one self-belief that they play the role as the main character in the universe. There is the ‘invisible suction force’ to convince that one is the center of this universe and make them think that everything happening in this world has been set up ready to be against them, aim to them, stop them, and make them fail from achieving their goals and wishes. The more they have this wrong default, the more tiredness, sadness, misery they absorb. And then if because of it, they fail of winning the goal, they will start to be disappointed, get bored of their lives and even limit their visions to the narrower tunnel of thought. The ability to recover from the failure of achieving these selfish needs can be impossible if they cannot twist their thinking and become more mindful to realize the real natures of things through the more positive ways.
In my life, I tried to drive myself to be as positive person, but sometimes I was trapped like this case too. For example, I remember when I was caught in the big traffic jam and the watch on my wrist kept urging me to ride faster to work, I started to release some bad words, blaming for a dull day when my clock had forgotten to ring in the morning, when my mum had started to complain on my slowness, or when the strangers in front of me seemed to have a plan to stop my way to escape that terrible jam. Everything happened as a chain of disaster to stop me and made my day more miserable.
The tips of writer for me are to open my heart, be mindful to understand the feeling and thoughts of others as if I were in their position and compassionately acknowledge of things. I think by this way, I can release from the flow of negative thoughts, help myself and even help others after I can win my own selfish thoughts. I believe people can motivate and inspire those who have same situation like us. Oppositely if we put too much energy in negative thoughts and desires, we will be sunk deeply in the fears and create ourselves the vision of a disaster life.
WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE HOW TO DEAL WITH DIFFERENT EMOTION TYPES
A person’s emotions can flow strongly in the mind and have some impact on life in both a positive way and even in a negative way if they do not control or were not able to drive these emotions. Honestly, I find myself sensitive and have some pretty strong emotional responses in some events. Tears can come freely from my eyes when I laugh a lot or when I feel so excited or thrilled for some touching situations as well as I am quite bad at hiding my feelings. However, when I said to my brain ‘stop laughing’ or ‘stop crying’ or ‘stop thinking about these drama things’, the flows of my emotion will be cut off and then I can feel balanced again very fast. Steven Schuster advises in this book that people can train themselves to control and drive the emotion flow according to the command of their brain. Everything depends on if we want to control them or not. Clearly, we can actively control to stop the bad feelings and aim to the happier thoughts in our lives by sending the message continuously to our brain to ‘stay away’ from negative side of thoughts. I remember to see a very good movie, named ‘Inside Out’ which I have had a chance to see some year ago. The movie describes funnily and interestingly how ’emotional characters’ in the brains are controlling the human emotions. I think as the same way, the book tells how the system inside our brain is operating all the time to react differently to some specific events of life and there are many modes of emotion to change accordingly on our emotion control board, like ‘calmly’, ‘angrily’, or ‘dramatically’.
However, surely, I cannot manipulate to totally delete my negative feelings. With patience and awareness of it, I can understand it, realize when and how it has happened to find the right thought to minimize the emotional damage it causes. Actively replacing the negative thoughts by another positive thoughts or repeating the opposite-to-negative thoughts will help cheat our brain to restart the safe state of emotions. For example, when my mind started to think that my husband is so bad to ignore my question, I can change my thought to avoid the bad feeling caused of it by repeating in my brain that he is not bad, and he was just so busy of his own thoughts. This action will help convince my brain to deal with it naturally as a repeated habit.
GETTING OVER YOUR FEAR OF NOT BEING PERFECT
Fear is one of the top issues that I need to deal with in many moments of my life. It might be the fear of giving the speech in front of many people, of being seen in an ugly appearance, being judged as a fool or of being laughed at by the other people for doing stupid actions which may just come from my own assumptions, etc. Those fears trapped me in a shell of unconfident feelings, makes me believe that I am exactly as what I think I am. The book opens my eyes and makes me recognize that my unconfident feelings now are resulted from what I have experienced from that past. It could be from when my mum compared me with my sister or told my aunts about my uselessness when I was a child. She made me believe that I have no capacity to do anything. My mind seemed to select the negative comments and absorb it strongly in the memory area of brain. This sharp recording to the brain makes me repeat these unconfident thoughts strongly like recalling this memory every time I needed to deal with my fear, even though I have changed to be a better person. This fear of being judged also came to my dream as a nightmare and I recognized that I need to help myself get out of this. Good news is that the brain can self-heal and recover from the hurts and adapt to new environments when I can have more will power and focus more on changing my self-believes. I need to believe that all kinds of fears or unconfident feelings just can happen in my head. Those messages of brain just try to cheat my feeling. The advices of the book for me are to be aware that these cheating messages from my brain are wrong and valueless, to turn my attention to other healthy mental events, or to share my problems or fears with close friends or specialists for advices.
This good book brought to me not only the scientific knowledge, but also kicked me out of the drama thoughts and the believes of my own. My expectation for this year is to get over myself, be more confident and say yes to the challenge. I think the human’s biggest obstacles are themselves. I believe when I understand the truths about myself, through this book’s advices, I can find the way to change for a better ‘new me’. By practicing to think positive more and more everyday, I can trust more in my improvement in emotional controlling ability and I do feel satisfied for my options of being happy and peaceful in my mind.