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The library of essays of Proakatemia

A dialogue

Kirjoittanut: Marina Shapovalova - tiimistä SYNTRE.

Esseen tyyppi: Yksilöessee / 2 esseepistettä.

Marina Shapovalova
Esseen arvioitu lukuaika on 4 minuuttia.


In this essay I will discuss principles of a dialogue and how we can improve our communication. When communicating with someone, we can experience negative or positive emotions. What determines the emotional coloring of communication? Communication is pleasant to us if we feel accepted by the interlocutor, we feel that our opinion is significant, and many other important needs are realized: to be listened to, to learn something new, participate in an interesting task together, show sympathy. And finally, communication is one of the most important aspects of life as an individual and society as a whole, therefore it is so important to understand and learn principals of this area of ​​life.

Usually there are several types of conversations: monologue (speech of one person), debates, dialogues, discourses and diatribes. Dialogue from the Greek “dialogues” is a conversation between two or more people. A deeper explanation – dialogue is a verbal exchange of ideas or opinions on a particular issue between two or more people, a way of joint thinking and joint reflection. Dialogue is not only about understanding others, but also about understanding yourself better.

It is possible to identify the following goals in a dialogue: to discuss something, to convince of something, to inform about something, to object about something, to encourage speech or some other action, request information, demand clarification, express approval or disagreement.

Good conversation builds good relationships. It is important to understand that a good conversation can also improve relationships in a team. We will have a great advantage if we have a constructive dialogue with everyone, with people we are agree or disagree, with people that you like or dislike. You should participate in all conversations, assuming you have something to learn. It’s nice to think that we can learn something from every person we meet.

Dialogue requires a balance between speaking and listening. Your interlocutor should be perceived as an equal. Everyone is entitled to their own point of view, their own view of the situation. In good dialogue, you should feel engaged and inspired, feel like you have made a real connection. It is recommended to ask questions why, what, how, when, where in the dialogue. And go deeper with questions like how was it? What was it like? Have people describe their thoughts and feelings.

Next important thing is to say that you do not know if you do not know. We shouldn’t be afraid of it, and it just helps to have better understanding and better dialogue, better response. We had a guest at one of our Paja, a professional project manager for a big company, and he talked about the importance of asking questions if you don’t understand. That if we don’t, it could cost money, time, projects. In his experience, even in large companies, there are times when in formal meetings people do not ask questions, if they do not understand something, because they are afraid of appearing unprofessional, and this only leads to bad results for the whole company.

It is recommended do not talk about the same experience if the interlocutor is talking about some own negative experience or suffering, you do not need to take that moment to explain how good you dealt with the situation or how much you suffered. This situation is not about you.

Then it is recommended not to repeat yourself, if you have already said something, do not repeat it in other words.

It definitely takes energy and effort to listen to someone and be really involved in the conversation, not thinking about something else. And we should listen to understand, not to reproduce. So, we understand better, let’s focus on your partnership words.

Through dialogue we get a collective mind. Together we are smarter and can come up with better ideas, but people need to be willing to accept different opinions and be open to criticism. The big question is how to criticize the idea or opinion of ​​the interlocutor. We can have great cultural differences, morals and expectations, so we must be very careful with criticism so as not to offend the opponent in dialogue.

The next important thing is to deal with your emotions if there are disagreements. People are very different and have different types of temperament, and therefore we must think about this difference in dialogue and communication and strive to find the right approach to the induvial. For example, some people are calm and persistent, others are impulsive and emotional. Some people can easily control their emotions, others can’t. In addition, according to psychiatrist Carl Jung, there are two different types of personality: introvert and extrovert. An introvert is silent, reserved and not very social unlike an extrovert who is very outgoing, social and talkative. But also, it can be mixed in one person.

Summarizing all above I would say that in order to increase the effectiveness of the dialogue, we must carefully consider and take into account all aspects of interaction between people and try to behave in accordance with this. It should be clear what type of communication we are talking about, what are the reasons for having a dialogue and what results should be drawn from it, what should be achieved.




William Isaacs, Dialogue, The Art Of Thinking Together, 1999, Publisher Currency


Celeste Headlee: 10 ways to have a better conversation https://www.ted.com/talks


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